Bad American?
I was forwarded an an email titled “Yes, I’m A Bad American “. Instead of forwarding back, I decided to have a conversation with the reactionary email….the original email is bold, my responses are in italics.
YES, I’M A BAD AMERICAN
That Must make me a good American.
I am an American.
My family has been here since 1638, dude!
I believe in God..
I don’t
I ride a horse, I am a cowboy and proud of it, I like & ride Harley Davidson Motorcycles and believe in American products.
You should really get a car… I hear they are quite good, and expected to replace the horse some day. So you dig American products? Like the computer where you first typed this email… oh… wait..
I believe the money I make belongs to me and my family, not some Liberal governmental functionary be it Democratic or Republican!
Bad Government! Curse them for their hospitals, fire departments, Interstate Highway Systems, the Military, the Police…
I’m in touch with my feelings and I like it that way!
Good for you. Have a gold star and a pat on the head. Doesn’t seem like you’re in touch with anyone else’s emotions though.
I think owning a gun doesn’t make you a killer, it makes you a smart American.
Doesn’t make you a killer until you pull the trigger. So let’s go out back and kill some things… YEEEHAAAAAWWWW!
I think being a minority does not make you noble or victimized,
and does not entitle you to anything. Get over it!
Being ignorant doesn’t entitle you to anything either, neither does being the majority.
I believe that if you are selling me a Big Mac, do it in English.
Sorry… I prefer Latin.
I believe everyone has a right to pray to his or her God
when and where they want to.
How about standing in the middle of I-95 at rush hour?
My heroes are John Wayne, Babe Ruth, Roy Rogers, and Willie G. Davidson that makes the Awesome Harley Davidson Motorcycles.
So… your heroes are actors, a dead baseball player and someone that makes motorcycles? You need to expand your horizons a bit…
I don’t hate the rich. I don’t pity the poor.
Obviously, you don’t know anyone who is rich.
I know wrestling is fake and I don’t waste my time watching or arguing about it.
A little sensitive about the wrestling thing, huh? Would you also like to announce you’re not gay?
I’ve never owned a slave, or was a slave,
But something tells me you wouldn’t have opposed it, either.
I haven’t burned any witches or been persecuted by the Turks and neither have you!
I thought everyone had been persecuted by Turks at one time or another. You don’t speak for me sparky.
So, shut up already..
Was I talking? I’m not the self important loudmouth who says “I don’t care about your beliefs” then goes on for an hour thumping his chest and bragging about his own.
I believe if you don’t like the way things are here,
go back to where you came from and change your own country!
Maple Shade?… you want me to go back and change Maple Shade, NJ?
This is AMERICA …We like it the way it is!
Apparently you don’t. You should go back where you came from.
If you were born here and don’t like it you are free to move to any Socialist country that will have you.
Socialist?! Oh No! You mean I’d have to go someplace where they have free healthcare and several weeks of summer vacation? You offend me, sir!
I want to know which church is it exactly where the Reverend Jesse Jackson preaches,
Since you believe in God so much, would you set foot in his church? What church does Pat Robertson preach in?
where he gets his money, and why he is always part of the problem and not the solution..
Like Jerry Falwell and Pat Robertson?
Can I get an AMEN on that one?
Nope… sorry. Fresh out. You can have a “Blessed Be” though.
I also think the cops have the right to pull you over if you’re breaking the law, regardless of what color you are.
Cops are part of the Government… I thought you didn’t want to give money to government functionaries…
And, no, I don’t mind having my face shown on my drivers license.
You’ve got a mighty purty mouth…
I think it’s good….. And I’m proud that ‘God’ is written on my money
Everybody knows Jesus was big into money. What a way to honor him.
I think if you are too stupid to know how a ballot works, I don’t want you deciding who should be running the most powerful nation in the world for the next four years.
We’re voting for the leader of China?! JK.. and I don’t want ignorant people to vote. Sorry!
I dislike those people standing in the intersections trying to sell me stuff or trying to guilt me into making ‘donations’ to their cause. Get a Job and do your part!
Yeah, Goodwill, Salvation Army, American Cancer Society and Jerry’s kids! Pull your own weight.
I believe that it doesn’t take a village to raise a child, it takes two parents.
But apparently not teachers and day care workers.
I believe ‘illegal’ is illegal no matter what the lawyers think.
Have you ever exceeded the Speed Limit on your wonderful American built Harley Davidson?
I believe the American flag should be the only one allowed in AMERICA !
So much for state and municipal flags. Can McDonalds still fly their flag next to their stores?
If this makes me a BAD American, then yes, I’m a BAD American..
And possibly not very educated.
If you are a BAD American too, please forward this to everyone you know.
We want our country back!
You can’t have this country back, because it never existed… just saying is all.
Tags: bad american, conservative talking points, emails, right wing, spam, xenophobic
The first European language spoken (documented) in the New World was Spanish, not English.
Are we the only civilized country that does *not* officially recognize two languages? (let alone not have an official one declared)
Jesus on money, “render unto Caesar what is Caesar’s”
Not sure He’d like having his Dad’s name on the currency… and then of course the whole money changers in the temple thing…
Does it bother him to know that in many foreign countries, kids at the middle and high school level can read and write in the English language at a higher level than most Americans? That they perform better in nearly all academic subject areas? (including math, science and geography?)
Sorry, could only read half of this before my head split open and all the gray guts ran all over the keyboard.
Thanks for the thoughtful comments, Charley! Kmuzu – I hope you’re okay after said grey guts incident!
Aha, this reminds me of a joke.
When talking to some friends, a man overhears someone speaking in Spanish. He turns to his friends and says, “Gosh, this is America. In America, everyone should speak American!”
A passerby says something incomprehensible. He turns to her and says, “Speak in AMERICAN! What are you saying?”
The passerby says, “That was Cherokee for, ‘Oh, really?’”
So this is what Sarah Palin is doing post-governorship…
charley raises a good point. i mean, really, “is are children learning”?
@ Dake: LOL… that’s a good one… I’ll have to use that!
@ Jason: You betcha!
@ Lane: Correction- it should be “Am our children learning?”
“Rarely is the questioned asked: Is our children learning?” —George W. Bush, Florence, S.C., Jan. 11, 2000
I don’t understand the computer comment. Are you implying that computers do not come from america? Otherwise great the hypocracy of “patriotic” americans is laughable.
@ Angus: I believe that the original author was probably not as dedicated to American products as he might think… Is it possible to go through the day using only American products? I think, unfortunately, that the answer to that would be no, or it would be extremely difficult. Maybe he uses an American computer, maybe he doesn’t. I personally have had my job outsourced to India twice, and would love to see laws passed that would protect American workers and bring some jobs back to our own shores.
@ Lane: My attempt at humor fell flat there…
I couldn’t get past the 15th response before I realized what a pompous narcissist you are. You’re seriously “arguing” with a forwarded message that cannot make counter-points. You are just as bad, or worse, than the person who wrote the original e-mail.
@Carlito: It’s not so much an argument, as a commentary. It’s done for our benefit, not for the original author’s. You are right though, if it was intended for the original author’s benefit, it’s kind of foolish. But if it’s for our benefit, then we get a good chuckle, plus there’s an added bonus of an example of seeing through ridiculous claims in chain letters. And I wouldn’t say he’s just as bad or worse than the original person, because at least he doesn’t contradict himself.
That e-mail is repulsive. I’m moving to Canada.
@ Carlito: You want to hear the COUNTER arguments? Do you feel that email made valid points you would like to hear defended? You might enjoy freerepublic.com (which I believe was the original source for the email before it mutated several times) or newsmax… or fox… or talk radio. Apparently, you just prefer name calling. If it offended you, good. At least it got some kind of reaction… and judging by the comments, it’s provoking some discussion.
@gomaniac thanks for the able defense… I did the article to give whoever might like it a chuckle… I am typically a cartoonist,(www.muddlecreek.com) and this is a rare foray into writing.
@Hannah: don’t pack your boxes!…at least now we have a rational President.
This insufferable piece of garbage is just another concoction of a repugnican think-tank/email campaign that attempts to dummy up outrage among the stupid.
And apparently, these days the right-wing is the last refuge of morons who think an email like this accurately describes the root of our country’s problems. It’s just like Bill O’Reilly’s “Shut Up” answer to everyone who disagrees with him.
Boy, are these dimwits gonna be surprised that we can kick back, and hard.
post is referenced at: http://bitterisataste.blogspot.com/2009/08/who-wants-america-back-this-guy-does.html
The “country” that is often referred in statements such as these, or that wonderful new slogan of the status quo, “We Want Our Country” back, is actually the Confederate States of America. That’s what they want back. I say let the former CSA have their own country, I believe that it would be a wonderful nation with an economy based upon…………………oh yeah, they did kind of run out of slaves now didn’t they?
Pompous…on all accounts. Most notably pompous in regards to comment about Socialism. Socialism has nothing to do vacations. Look at Cuba, for instance, or perhaps the great Soviet Union. They are both thriving!
And so did America under your wonderful President Bush. You must be one of those guys making over $2 million who benefit the most by conservative policies.
Socialism saved the country once, It was called the New Deal… maybe you’ve heard of it. I think what you’re referring to is called Communism.
You: “Socialism has nothing to do vacations”. That sounds pretty boring. I prefer the something to do vacations, but I’m just a crazy, godless, liberal, socialist. What do you have against vacations, anyway? If you don’t want yours, I’ll take it.
As far as me being pompous? – Oh no! Someone I don’t know and will never meet doesn’t like me!… I’m going to go and cry now. Why must the internet be so cruel?
Brilliant, thanks for the good laugh… I’ll be sure to forward this on.
Speaking as a fan of Thomas Jefferson, Teddy Roosevelt, and Franklin Roosevelt — I want my country back (from the “aristocracy of moneyed corporations” and the “economic royalists”, and from hucklebucks who think owning a motorcyle makes them a patriot).
not bad but since you obviously think your self open minded I’m surprised that you failed to notice how close minded your own comments were. Sure they made the “True American’s” close minded comments look ridiculous but you took their one extreme and threw your opposing extreme at it. Don’t get me wrong, I got a kick out of all of this too but it was more at the pissing contest you turned it into then anything else. I guess since you attacked without giving the original author a chance at a rebuttal that you pissed the farthest so congrats
“since you attacked without giving the original author a chance at a rebuttal ”
? it’s an uncredited email/spam that jerry is sending up. Mr. Original must get his funny bone into a splint pronto
@original:
“I’m surprised you failed to notice how close minded your own comments were”
Well, since you know me so well, you shouldn’t be surprised!;-)
Am I close minded because I don’t support God being on coinage, or because I disagree about being persecuted by Turks?
Damn Turks!
It’s pretty damn funny people think I was being unfair to a piece of email spam, and no one has argued in support of the points that the email author made.
I wonder if these same people would defend some of those “Imitation Rolodex watch” spams…