I was forwarded an an email titled “Yes, I’m A Bad American “.  Instead of forwarding back, I decided to have a conversation with the reactionary email….the original email is bold, my responses are in italics.

YES, I’M A BAD AMERICAN
That Must make me a good American.

I am an American.
My family has been here since 1638, dude!

I believe in God..
I don’t

I ride a horse, I am a cowboy and proud of it, I like & ride Harley Davidson Motorcycles and believe in American products.
You should really get a car… I hear they are quite good, and expected to replace the horse some day. So you dig American products? Like the computer where you first typed this email… oh… wait..

I believe the money I make belongs to me and my family, not some Liberal governmental functionary be it Democratic or Republican!
Bad Government! Curse them for their hospitals, fire departments, Interstate Highway Systems, the Military, the Police…

I’m in touch with my feelings and I like it that way!
Good for you. Have a gold star and a pat on the head. Doesn’t seem like you’re in touch with anyone else’s emotions though.

I think owning a gun doesn’t make you a killer, it makes you a smart American.
Doesn’t make you a killer until you pull the trigger. So let’s go out back and kill some things… YEEEHAAAAAWWWW!

I think being a minority does not make you noble or victimized,
and does not entitle you to anything. Get over it!
Being ignorant doesn’t entitle you to anything either, neither does being the majority.

I believe that if you are selling me a Big Mac, do it in English.
Sorry… I prefer Latin.

I believe everyone has a right to pray to his or her God
when and where they want to.
How about standing in the middle of I-95 at rush hour?

My heroes are John Wayne, Babe Ruth, Roy Rogers, and Willie G. Davidson that makes the Awesome Harley Davidson Motorcycles.
So… your heroes are actors, a dead baseball player and someone that makes motorcycles? You need to expand your horizons a bit…

I don’t hate the rich. I don’t pity the poor.
Obviously, you don’t know anyone who is rich.

I know wrestling is fake and I don’t waste my time watching or arguing about it.
A little sensitive about the wrestling thing, huh? Would you also like to announce you’re not gay?

I’ve never owned a slave, or was a slave,
But something tells me you wouldn’t have opposed it, either.

I haven’t burned any witches or been persecuted by the Turks and neither have you!
I thought everyone had been persecuted by Turks at one time or another. You don’t speak for me sparky.

So, shut up already..
Was I talking? I’m not the self important loudmouth who says “I don’t care about your beliefs” then goes on for an hour thumping his chest and bragging about his own.

I believe if you don’t like the way things are here,
go back to where you came from and change your own country!
Maple Shade?… you want me to go back and change Maple Shade, NJ?

This is AMERICA …We like it the way it is!
Apparently you don’t. You should go back where you came from.

If you were born here and don’t like it you are free to move to any Socialist country that will have you.
Socialist?! Oh No! You mean I’d have to go someplace where they have free healthcare and several weeks of summer vacation? You offend me, sir!

I want to know which church is it exactly where the Reverend Jesse Jackson preaches,
Since you believe in God so much, would you set foot in his church? What church does Pat Robertson preach in?

where he gets his money, and why he is always part of the problem and not the solution..
Like Jerry Falwell and Pat Robertson?

Can I get an AMEN on that one?
Nope… sorry. Fresh out. You can have a “Blessed Be” though.

I also think the cops have the right to pull you over if you’re breaking the law, regardless of what color you are.
Cops are part of the Government… I thought you didn’t want to give money to government functionaries…

And, no, I don’t mind having my face shown on my drivers license.
You’ve got a mighty purty mouth…

I think it’s good….. And I’m proud that ‘God’ is written on my money
Everybody knows Jesus was big into money. What a way to honor him.

I think if you are too stupid to know how a ballot works, I don’t want you deciding who should be running the most powerful nation in the world for the next four years.
We’re voting for the leader of China?! JK.. and I don’t want ignorant people to vote. Sorry!

I dislike those people standing in the intersections trying to sell me stuff or trying to guilt me into making ‘donations’ to their cause. Get a Job and do your part!
Yeah, Goodwill, Salvation Army, American Cancer Society and Jerry’s kids! Pull your own weight.

I believe that it doesn’t take a village to raise a child, it takes two parents.
But apparently not teachers and day care workers.

I believe ‘illegal’ is illegal no matter what the lawyers think.
Have you ever exceeded the Speed Limit on your wonderful American built Harley Davidson?

I believe the American flag should be the only one allowed in AMERICA !
So much for state and municipal flags. Can McDonalds still fly their flag next to their stores?

If this makes me a BAD American, then yes, I’m a BAD American..
And possibly not very educated.

If you are a BAD American too, please forward this to everyone you know.
We want our country back!
You can’t have this country back, because it never existed… just saying is all.